Nick On Toons: Bump In The Night

That’s right, kids! Like Daniel Tolin and questionable cheese sauce, I’m back with an equally questionable episode of Nick On Toons, the only column that reminds you that yes, that crazy, weird, bizarre, and possibly inappropriate cartoon really did happen after all.

Now after I’m asked what shade of white Rob’s teeth are, I’m usually asked if I’ll be covering any non-Nickelodeon cartoons in this column, and the answer of course is platinum..er, I mean, yes, yes I will!

Obviously in some cases, I’ll just be streamlining things to give a general overview of a cartoon, or at least my reasonings why the cartoon is or at least should be memorable to you. I will also continue highlighting specific episodes at random. In the case of today’s topic, fall is here and I’m feeling pretty nostalgic within the walls of my humble home (you know, when I’m not dragged from my peaceful slumber and tossed back into the Genesis Gems Dungeon).

The year is 1994, and a lot of great things are happening, like me turning 13, Donkey Kong Country coming out, and, um, well and this cartoon came out!

Just look at this foul creature from under a random 10 year old boy’s bed, LOOK AT HIM IN ALL OF HIS GLORY.

Did I mention he eats socks like Landon Long eats chicken biscuits?
Did I mention he eats socks like Landon Long eats chicken biscuits?

So after careful consideration I decided to simply write on 10 Reasons I Feel Bump In The Night Is A Cartoon Everyone Should Watch, and hey, if you don’t agree with me, then you can eat some smelly socks that Mr. Bumpy left on his plate!

10

The Dude Eats Socks

Seriously, and I agree, that doesn't look like he's putting hot sauce on a sock, but he is, because he's BOSS.
Seriously, and I agree, that doesn’t look like he’s putting hot sauce on a sock, but he is, because he’s BOSS.

9

His Best Friend Is Toilet Bowl Cleaner Pudding

Yeah, because if he's not, someone needs to tell me what THIS is. Maybe it's glue tack that you'd use for posters in college?
Yeah, because if he’s not, someone needs to tell me what THIS is. Maybe it’s glue tack that you’d use for posters in college?

Either way, it’s just not natural.

You know, like if this guy powered his bridge making teeth with Colgate and not Crest.
You know, like if this guy powered his bridge making teeth with Colgate and not Crest.

8

His Girlfriend Is An Off Brand Raggedy Ann Doll

Hey! Being Ann's college roommate has its perks!
Hey! Being Ann’s college roommate has its perks!

7

Whoever Owns The House He Lives In Is Never Home

At least so it seems. Perhaps the house is also owned collectively by the parents we see in Rugrats?

You know, the ones that didn't believe in parenting at all.
You know, the ones that didn’t believe in parenting at all.

6

He Buys His Arch-Nemesis From A Cereal Box

No, for realsies, yo. Word on the street is, Mr B wanted his sweet robot and snagged it with one UPC code from one of his favorite cereals, only for it to show up, looking all lame, before wanting to blast his claymation keister to the moon!

I mean, come on, this is a kid's show and that's a story you tell in a bar. The street cred from Bumpy knows no bounds.
I mean, come on, this is a kid’s show and that’s a story you tell in a bar. The street cred from Bumpy knows no bounds.

5

There’s A Closet Monster And It Scared Children

Imagine being a wee little one, enjoying a nice Saturday morning and all of a sudden THIS shows up on your television screen!

Would you sleep? How could you with the animated equivalent of when Jason busts out of his mask in that one Friday The 13th?
Would you sleep? How could you with the animated equivalent of when Jason busts out of his mask in that one Friday The 13th?

4

Karaoke Cafe!

What’s that? Your Saturday morning cartoon is cool, fresh, hip, and makes you bug your parents for many expensive pieces of plastic? Yeah, well mine has karaoke segments, sucka!

Because eating pancakes or sugary cereal just doesn't taste as good without it.
Because eating pancakes or sugary cereal just doesn’t taste as good without it.

3

The Guy Who Voiced Him Believed In Honey Justice

No, seriously. Jim Cummings, who has voiced many legendary characters, is also famous for taking over the voice of Winnie The Pooh and telling us all “Let’s get dangerous!” as Darkwing Duck.

Yes, I also believed in going Bonkers, and sending lion fathers to their doom via stampede, and that's just what I do on weekends.
Yes, I also believed in going Bonkers, and sending lion fathers to their doom via stampede, and that’s just what I do on weekends.

2

There’s An Episode That Focuses On Undigested Bubble Gum

Yep. Pretty much what my 35 year old self says to that. However, my 13 year old self finds this HILARIOUS.
Yep. Pretty much what my 35 year old self says to that. However, my 13 year old self finds this HILARIOUS.

1

Unlike Most Saturday Morning Cartoons, Mr. Bumpy Is An Evil Jerk

Oh sure, he appears to be just another pile of clay left over from Gumby’s fame and fortune, and he’s a pretty decent singer, however, if anyone else who starred in their own cartoon show was abducted by aliens, would they try to help them take over the Earth? Will Smith says, “Nah, and get jiggy wit it!”

Just look at those aliens, too. They look like they have the balls from Hungry Hungry Hippos on their heads, and destroying such a great game is not only diabolical, its unAmerican.
Just look at those aliens, too. They look like they have the balls from Hungry Hungry Hippos on their heads, and destroying such a great game is not only diabolical, its unAmerican.

So yeah, Mr. Bumpy, he’s kind of gross, but he’s also that piece of your childhood Saturday mornings you want to forget, yet would feel terrible to do so, you know, like that one Alf doll you had a stomach flu all over, or those nightmares you still have about creatures from Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. Sure, you might save money on therapy bills, but would you TRULY feel better?

Mr. Bumpy says no.

He also says he wants your socks, yo.

 

 

 

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Skip to toolbar