Master Bit Theater #3-The Only Job I Know

Good evening, Anything But Fancy here and tonight we’re going to talk about doing a job here on Master Bit Theater, perhaps the only job you know how to do. What’s that? Of course I know how to do other things but impersonate a cookie eating monster in a smoker’s jacket with pipe! Blasphemy! I am an expert shuffle board player and I auditioned for my high school play! I have dreams ya know!

Ahem, tonight Belvedere Hazlenut graces us with his stellar poem about how sometimes you just have to do the job you were born to do, even if everyone secretly hates you.

I heard that!

atari-2600-donkey-kong-wallpaper
The Only Job I Know
by Belvedere Hazlenut

Yeah, I applied for the job
Wouldn’t you?
The chance to be looked at as someone special
The fame and fortune that came with it
I was a lonely boy of pixels growing up
No one cared about me
Until Atari came knocking on my door

So I stood up straight
Did as I was told
I really thought things were going well
I was the best suited for the job they said
Many years later I realized
This was because I was the only one who applied

DK leaves big shoes to fill
And despite being hated by the masses
I embraced it
My job, my life, my career
All of it
Besides
It’s the only job I know

So when you pop my cartridge into your fine, woodgrain Atari 2600
Please take mercy on me
I only did what I had to in order to feed my family
To pay my way through college
And to give my grandkids someone they could be proud of
Long after Atari was a dying company

I’m proud of who I am
Whatever that is
An ape?
A gorilla?
A weird gingerbread flavored monster?
Who truly knows?

One thing, however, is not up for debate on this day
I did my job
And did it well
Because I was the only one who would dare try
To do the only job I know

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